My Boys....

I AM the luckiest, most blessed really, mom in the entire WORLD!

Every single mom (parent) out there knows and truly believes that they she the luckiest and most blessed when it comes to her children. It should be like that! 

We were given the opportunity and most fantastical responsibility of having a human being grow inside of our bodies. We nurture that baby and love him or her from the moment we know we have a Mini-Me growing inside us. 

I know, for me, I immediately fell in love with all my children when I new I was pregnant. Each and everyone of my boys came into my life exactly when I needed them to. I always tell them they were meant for me (and dad). That God gave them to me when I needed them most. That God knew that I needed to have boys and not girls. That God knew exactly who was to be born first, second and third. 

My oldest definitely takes us on new experiences each and every day. He is just like his dad, in physical appearance and personality.  I am learning how to handle and deal with new situations as they arise. The biggest one I am dreading is "The Talk". Oh boy... He is only 9 years old so we may have a little bit more time but as with all things go when they are in public schools, he is beginning to hear things. The good thing is, is that he will talk to me albeit full of shyness and ickiness but he still talks to me. 

My second, me sweet second boy, he is such a clown. He makes me laugh all the time. He is truly a very compassionate little boy. He is very sensitive, just like his momma, and very caring. I have learned that we have to handle situations a tad bit different with him. He struggles a lot with still wanting to be a baby and being a big boy and he is 7 years old! 

Finally, my youngest, my wild child, my third born. He came into my life EXACTLY when I needed him to. He saved me from a stressful job that would surely have given a mental breakdown. When I found out I was pregnant with him, I wondered how I would do it! Though, I knew I wanted a 3rd child. My body wanted it and I wanted it. I just wasn't sure I was quite ready. But as with all things go, you're given things whether you are ready for it or not. He is definitely a different experience than my oldest two. Parenting him takes me to a different level. 

Now, all my boys are close in age. My oldest two are 2 years apart and there's a 3 1/2 year difference between my second and third. While this is sure method of going gray early and pulling out your hair, I wouldn't change it for the world. I LOVE the fact that they are growing up so close and have each other in their lives. My dream for them is to be best friends for ever, BFF's. I want them to know that they can rely and count on each other for everything. After all, that is what brotherhood and family should be about, right? Being there no matter what. 

Well, my point of this post is, as I was helping my boys wash their hair yesterday and I was looking into my second's sweet little face, I had a feeling of complete peace and joy come over me. It was like an AHA! moment. My heart swelled with overwhelming love. I was awestruck with how much I love these boys and the lengths I would go through just for them. I mean, I would do ANYTHING for them. ANYTHING! That is when I knew that I truly am the luckiest and most blessed mom in the world. My boys were meant for me as I was meant for them.

Unconditional love, for me, is the love I have in my heart, mind, and soul for my boys. 

Keeping Up With Meditation

Ever since I discovered meditation, I've been trying my darnedest (not sure if that's a word but my SwiftKey says it is, so I'm rolling with it) to practice meditation daily.

I was trying to meditate first thing in the morning but that was not working for me. It was actually becoming a chore and something I was not looking forward to doing. I thought that would have been the ideal time of day since it is just me early in the morning and I felt it could set the tone for the rest of my day.

I've always known that without my first cup of coffee in the morning, I am a grump and a zombie... I drag my feet and I want to snap at everything. So, meditation was beginning to take a back seat.

One evening, I decided to try meditating in the shower. I found that it was actually more helpful for me to meditate while in the shower. The fact that it wasn't at the crack of dawn was a huge plus. Also, I'm in there by myself with no one to interrupt, for the most part.

I am slowly learning to clear my mind. I focus on the hot water hitting my body and the droplets running down. I focus on my breathing and inhaling the steam. This actually serves two purposes, I meditate AND the moist heat helps soothe my back muscles.

When I can't clear my mind, I just let it roam free with no direction. I just let it wander. It is actually freeing not having to think of one particular thing or all the stuff that needs to get done in the house or with/for the boys.

While I haven't seen any physical benefits to meditation, it certainly has helped mental well being. I know there are days when I feel blah and the meditation helps, even if just for a little while. It certainly brings life into focus for me.

I'm happy to say that meditating will definitely be a part of my life for years to come.

Sulking

Every once in a while, I get in a bad mood. We all do. It's part of our human nature to do so.

What matters is how we deal with those moods. For the most part, I don't like being in a funky and negative mood because it really just bogs you down. It can sour your whole day and I really don't like that.

BUT, there are times, when I just give in to those moods. This is one of those days. I don't feel like fighting my mood, so I will just sulk. Eh... it's okay. I think it is healthy to accept the mood you are in and give in to it. The key, is not taking it out on others. Whew.. that is hard cause when you're unhappy for whatever reason, you want to make others unhappy too and EVERYTHING just bothers you.

Children are lucky cause when they have a tantrum, they have a tantrum. My youngest can get like this. I validate his feelings but send him to his room to deal with it. He takes control of himself and comes out when he is much better. That really works. So I will take my cue and have my figurative tantrum and own it.

For now, I will give in to it and crochet or read or watch something on Netflix until it goes away and I start feeling better. I know it will cause my funky moods don't last for long.

All that being said, happiness is a state of mind and only me can make it happen or allow it to happen to me. :-)

Exercising CAN be Fun!

For a while there I have been wanting to start exercising, again. Last year, I was doing really good. I was a member at our local gym and was going at least once a week. I was running on the treadmill and doing strength training (I think that is what it is called). Also, I was going once a week with a friend to her gym while we got ready for Warrior Dash. (That was the MOST fun I've had in a very long time. I accomplished a great feat I never thought I would. I am so not athletic and for me to complete Warrior Dash, without getting injured might I add, was definitely an accomplishment that will go down on the record for me. Of course, I added a picture of myself.)

I was even going out "running". I put it in quotation marks cause I'm not even sure that is what I did BUT the point is, I got out there and did something. I was proud of myself. I will resume that when it gets warmer. I hate the cold and I'm afraid of it. I won't purposefully put myself in the cold unless I have to. Mentally, I'm not there yet.

Well, for one reason or another, I decided not to renew my membership at the gym and thus any and all exercising went away. NOW, it is time for me to resume that. I have a nice chest in my living room that contains all my exercising equipment: mat, exercise book, weights, jump rope, tension band and a newly bought 5lb exercise ball. Yay me!

I have a process as to how I approach things. It always starts with a thought or idea in my head. I think about it and the ways how I can execute my idea. I try to plan things out in my head. Sometimes, I succeed. This is one event in where I did succeed. I knew what I needed to do. I got all my supplies gathered: mat and exercise ball with exercise guide and went to town.

The FUN part of exercising was when my 3 year old decided to join me. He got his own ball (a small basketball perfect for his small hands) and a towel as a mat. We started off with stretches, then a little bit of cardio and proceeded into doing squats and core exercises.

We did burn some calories, what I hope is the toning of some muscles and in the midst of it all had the most awesome giggles ever! Watching him exercise with me was certainly motivating. Not only do I get something out of it but so does he. It teaches him that maintaining a healthy body is great and he can also have fun! Also, his little body needs the exercise to help his muscles grow and strengthen. So all in all, it was a great start to a great day!

I took some pictures of him after we exercised showing off some things we did together.

Stretching

Another stretching

Warrior Dash 2012

Thinking....

Ever since my last blog post about me not always getting what I want, I have been thinking....

Thinking about anything and everything. My life, how I've gotten to where I am today, what if I made different choices, that sort of thing. I've also been thinking about what to blog about next. It seems I've reached a blah point of my journey and don't know what else to blog about. I wanted this blog to be about me and my journey and the things I've accomplished and done. Things that I am proud of. 

I expected as much. It will take some more motivation on my part and continuity to accomplish what I started off to do. 

I seems to set up road blocks for myself in my mind. I always start something off all gung ho about it and have this great big fire lit under me and I'm all excited until.... Until I don't know what. The fire dies to low embers waiting for that little bit of oxygen to breath life into it again. 

That fire will be alive once again, I know it will because I want it so badly.